I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
