Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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