R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
