i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
