Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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