i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
