Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
