He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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