Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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