Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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