i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
