none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Do vagina's smell?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
