the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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