Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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