remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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