playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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