I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
