Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
