Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
