White coat. Heels.
I heard we made out
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
