I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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