The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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