I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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