considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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