May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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