so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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