my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i think i have two assholes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
