I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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