College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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