Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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