he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize