i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
