I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
