There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
