i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
