Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
