If i come over, it means nothing
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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