so that wasnt chicken after all
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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