whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize