i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
