i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
