I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ugly people sure do ruin things
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
