i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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