Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i barfeds in our rink
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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