I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
