I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
