wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
