omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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