He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
