Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
