there was a trapeze. enough said
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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