Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
