erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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