Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
