feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
