we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
