You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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