Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
