Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
