Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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