Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
