I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
