Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
