He had one of those small greek statue penises
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize