bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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