she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
