I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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