Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my poor anus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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