I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Non-Jews are for practice
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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